Movie Reviews: Brotherly Love & A Race Car in Candyland

Today was my official "bad movie" day, but a funny thing happened... neither movie was all that bad. Sure one movie was about 3 teen brother rock stars who perform in 3D and pretend they won't have sex till marriage, and the other was about a teen race car driver in candyland... but when it comes down to it, they were both enjoyable, and who can argue with that?

Brotherly Love - Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience

Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience was quite an experience from the beginning. Arriving at the theater, if you were over 2 ft tall, you already stuck out like a sore thumb. And if you weren't wearing a Jonas Brothers t-shirt, squealing uncontrollably, or touting a Chastity belt (sorry, ring), then forget about it, you were just really uncool. So why did I go? Because I knew it would be laughable amounts of fun, and it was just that, from the beginning.

Nick (16), Joe (19) and Kevin (21) are three brothers who hit the big time not too long ago with their breathy, bordering on whiny, poppy pop act, and have continued to make teenage girls faint and hyperventilate hysterically in droves ever since. These days they are considered gods, big enough to even warrant a spot on Barbara Walter's People of the Year special. They strut around NYC, amongst a myriad of other major cities, wearing incredibly metrosexual clothing and flaunting their commitment rings, bringing even the mothers of these weeping fans to ask, "what do you see in these guys?" Apart from the younger two's incredibly well sculpted arms, what they see in the Jonas Bros is the new ultimate female fantasy; the Beta male. What is a Beta male you ask? He's pretty much everything the Alpha male isn't. He's anywhere from a little to  very nerdy (but in a cute way), he knows more about the computer and online social networking than he does about football or the stock market, he wears scarves, and he may even wear glasses. While the middle bro Joe has enough Alpha-ish charisma to go around for everyone, the youngest (the talent) and the oldest (the likely closeted awkward one) are quintessential Beta males, drawing girls in with their dreamy sensitive smiles that say "I'm here, and I care what you think or what you wear" (Kevin might even know what label it is).  

On Friday the 27th, their 3Dimensionalized concert hit theaters and now if there was anyone out there who hadn't heard of the trio before, they damn well do now. I don't listen to their music in my car, or even on my iPod, but lord knows whenever I hear S.O.S. come on, I'm compelled to crank it up. They are just fun, and now it's even semi-cool to like them, even in my 20 something age bracket. In terms of the movie itself, here are some reasons why you may (or may not) want to see it:

1. They Actually, literally "Crunk" it out (you'll know what I mean when you see it)
   
2. They bare some skin (albeit briefly)
   
3. They point at you constantly and throw their pics in your face (the 3D makes this all actually quite alarming)
   
4. They do acrobatic jumps and flips that would make even the Olympic team proud
   
5. Big Rob makes a cameo appearance on stage
   
6. When they sing, it feels like they're singing just for you (That is a direct quote from the theater ladies room)
   

I'll understand if even after all of this, you still don't want to spend a disgusting $15 to go sit a theater with ray ban knock offs on your face, while listening to the impossible fantasies of 15 year olds, only to see a movie about the new Hanson. Seriously, I won't blame you if you skip it. But with that said, if you see it with the right people, in the right spirit, it can be a surprisingly jovial experience filled with laughter and love that will bond you and your viewing partner/s together for life. 

Under no circumstances should you see it alone, unless you're just creepy.

Short and Sweet

Sugary sweet teen dream come true. Watch in amazement as they look right at you try to touch their unattainable hologram bodies.

UPDATE: They came in at #2 in box office sales on their opening weekend making only $12.7 million, behind Madea Goes to Jail which made $16.5 million... ouch. Guess the world domination's gonna take longer than they thought.   

A Race Car in Candyland - Speed Racer

Everything you've heard about Speed Racer is true, and I don't happen to think that's a bad thing. In fact, after reading A.O. Scott's disillusioned review, I thought, this might be a movie for me. My obsession with color and all things eyecandy has already been made abundantly clear, so when I heard there was a whole movie, created entirely around the concept of "bursting a giant bag of digital skittles," as Scott puts it, I immediately wanted to race (ha) over to the theater. But between whatever I had going on at the time, and a lack of funds to support the cost of an IMAX ticket for anything besides Dark Knight, I never made it there. Luckily for me the DVD has come down so drastically in price now, that I just bought the damn thing and had a little viewing party. 

The film did everything I wanted it to, and nothing I didn't expect. For tender hearted fans of the original animated show, tread carefully, this is not what you remember from the '70's. Much of the old spirit of the cartoon, the wide-eyed innocence that you may be attached to, is gone and replaced with purple helicopters and rainbow roads. Speed Racer doesn't really have anything to do with heart beyond a cheesy attempt to show a loving '50's-esque family. It's all about how fast the cars go and how saturated the colors can possibly be. The movie offers nothing deep or profound, think of it more as a slide show from a Japanese video game arcade, which I think is an awesome premise for a film. 

Emile Hirsch as "Speed" Racer doesn't particularly shine in the part, as he wasn't given much of a script to work with, But he's nice to look at, and besides, he's already proven his acting cred to me with roles in the amazing Into The Wild and The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys (look for him this August in Ang Lee's Taking Woodstock). I don't think he takes anything away from the film, given that all the acting is sub-par, and ultimately not very important to your enjoyment. let's just say he squeaks by through managing to master the "I'm thinking about something serious face." Speed's girl, Trixie, played by a shockingly thin Christina Ricci pops up on screen wearing her signature pink barrettes, and says things like "you can do it Speed Racer!" Her presence in the movie is there only for their final kiss (which was fairly lame), and to stay true to the original characters. Truthfully, I wouldn't have noticed had she disappeared from the film altogether. Racer X, played by Matthew Fox of Lost Fame, is laughable, but then again I can only assume he's supposed to be. I don't know whether it's natural or if he's stuffing, but all done up in his leather/spandex racing suit, it's hard for your eyes not to travel southward to an embarrassingly prominent package. In any event, every line out of his mouth is a raging cliche, in fact, every line out of every one's mouth is a raging cliche. You can also find Susan Sarandon (how did they manage to snag her?), John Goodman, and Roger Allam (who you might recognize from V For Vendetta) as other various Speed Racer regulars. There's also a little brother played by Paulie Litt, who I can only imagine hails from Nickelodeon commercial land, and a chimp. Nothing too surprising there, if you're familiar with the show. The gist is that the characters don't end up seeming to matter to the Wachowski brothers as much as the graphics.

The plot also is secondary, apart from the fact that allows for the movie to showcase unbelievable video game inspired imagery for lots and lots of racing. Speed's natural racing instincts have made him a prime candidate for any racing company, bringing him offers from wealthy conglomerates like Royalton Industries, trying to woo him away from working for his father's small company. The story follows his battle for the win, and includes flashbacks from his younger years. Your eyes can't sit still for even a second without fear of missing something. So if you're looking for a good character piece, full of motivation and nostalgia, then Speed Racer is not for you. But if you're looking for Mario's Rainbow Road to come to life right before your very eyes, go see Speed Racer and let your eyes enjoy for a bit.

Short and Sweet

Watch and taste the rainbow.

Fav Quotes

"Oh my god, was that a ninja?"

"More like a 'non'-ja. Terrible what passes for a ninja these days."

-Trixie and Pops Racer 

Water Guy?

"Possibly Dinosaurs?"

Hi-larious.

(Found the vid thanks to From The Front Row!)

Plug a Friend Day!

Get your mind out of the gutter!

These days it seems I know more than a few people with websites floating out in the ether of the interwebs. So today, I'm declaring it "Plug a Friend Day," and taking a few minutes to introduce a few of these sites to you. Check them out, pass them along, and henceforth let it be known as "Plug a Friend Day!"

Emmett Farley, The League Film

Good friend and incredible Sound Engineer, Emmett Farley, worked on the film score recording, mixing and sound design for this pretty damn good film noir-esque movie about the world's first superhero labor union. Watch The League online and get to know the Grey Raven, Sparrow and the Blue Blaze! I still can't believe it was a university thesis project...

Alex Yacovelli

Long time friend and actor, singer, songwriter Alex Yacovelli recently launched his site to help chronicle where the hell to find him (the guy is very busy)! Whether he's playing guitar at Starbucks, or performing The Libertine on Lafayette, his site will help make sure you never miss a gig. So if you're a New Yorker, and you're looking for a show to go to (or an actor to hire), head to alexyacovelli.com.    

Mark Grambau Illustration

You might remember I mentioned Mark around Valentine's Day to promote his lovely penguin themed e-card. I've known him now a long time, and he is flat out talented. His blog has been getting some notice lately for his series of superhero portraits. To the left you see The Flash, and on the site you'll also find The Green Lantern, Spider-man, Wolverine, Superman, Batman, The Hulk, and Captain Marvel. You'll also find sketchbook pages, character designs and tons more. So if you're into illustration, comics, or penguins, Mark's site is a must click.

Katina Zulakis

Fellow Skidmore grad, art major, and comm design lab junkie, Katina Zulakis, did a truly amazing thing for her senior thesis art show... she drew a portrait of every single graduating art major. There were 56 of us, not including herself. Prof. Sattler said it couldn't be done, but she did it anyway. Here, you can check out all incredible 56 pencil drawings, and get to know the art majors of Skidmore's '08 graduating class. And that's me, fourth row down, second one from the right! To the left you'll see another talented artist, Ms. Alex Labriola. 

Adrian Negenborn

Currently a grad student at Mass Art, Adrian was by far one of the most "art school" looking of the Skidmore art majors. Constantly covered in paint and charcoal, this kid was always in the studio, bashing around trying to see what was there, or what could be there. He's a really gifted guy so take a minute to go on his site where you can find examples of his paintings and drawings, and stay up to date on new works. 

John Yost, Name in Use

Not a Skidmore grad, but a Skidmorian all the same, Yost came in as official "tech guy" during my junior year. But in his spare time, John's a filmmaker, with two full-length features already under his belt. You can check out Every Good Thing to Rust here, and The Brave and The Kind here. On his site you can also find examples of his pretty incredible photography and some of his short films. 

That's all for now, but I'm sure there will be more to come! And as always, check out all the incredible blogs I'm following on the sidebar.

Now go plug your friends (it still sounds dirty...)

FEEL MY WRATH BARRYMORE!

Is Monster's, Inc. back in business?

Ask and you shall receive seems to be Pixar's new motto as news breaks that plans for the long awaited Monsters, Inc. sequel are supposedly in the works (thanks for the scoop First Showing!). Director Pete Docter who just finished UP, the upcoming release from Pixar, hasn't officially confirmed this sequel news yet, but I'm guessing the rumors are true. Next to The Incredibles (which practically has sequel tattooed on its... arm), Monsters, Inc. is the most requested Pixar film. Rabid fans are dying to know, so tell us Docter, is it true?

Third Narnia to upgrade (hopefully)

Prince Caspian lacks everything that makes a movie likable. Yes, this is harsh, and I do apologize to those that I might offend, but this film was incoherent, dismal and boring. I still have high-ish hopes for its "breakout star", Ben Barnes (coming to screens soon as Dorian Gray), but I didn't come to that decision based on his performance as "I desperately need a better accent" Caspian. Honestly, now might be a good time for the Narnia franchise to cut it's losses and just scrap the rest of their planned films, but they have decided to the opposite. For the third film, Voyage of the Dawn Treader, they've gone ahead and hired a new writer, Michael Petroni (best known to me as co screenwriter of The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys). For fans, this could mean that your third film might be better than the first too... but I would be wary of too much optimism at this point. Can all the original live action BBC Narnia fans throw 'ya hands in the air? People in beaver suits are always better than digital beavers.

Goode and Adams Roam Ireland

Matthew Goode (Brideshead Revisited and Match Point) and Amy Adams (Doubt and Enchanted) are set to team up in the romantic comedy Leap Year (releasing in 2010). The film will center on Adams, a young woman who attempts a surprise proposal to her boyfriend in Ireland on Leap Day. But bad weather and screenwriters get in her way. Enter Goode, who'll play an Irish inn keeper who guides her across Ireland. The producers are the same ones behind King Arthur, P.S. I Love You, and Becoming Jane. Have you ever heard such a sad, bad movie list? But I'll stick with Adams through anything.

Do you want this directing Eclipse?

The Twilight movies have had more headlines this week than anything else, and that's even WITH the reviews of Watchmen starting to roll in. But the most bone shattering one to drop yet is that Summit is courting Drew Barrymore to direct Eclipse. I think my soul just died, came back to life, heard that headline, and died again. So you're telling me that the girl who just did Beverly Hills Chihuahua is "at the top" of someone's list to direct a major movie franchise? I think I need some air.... Now I know what you're going to say,

"oh, but she just directed this cool indie flick with Ellen Page!".....

"Awww she's just so cute in Adam Sandler movies, throw her a bone and let her direct Eclipse."...........

I make you this vow to you now readers and moviegoers, and you know this is hard for me because I am an admitted Twilight rally girl... If Drew Barrymore directs this movie, I am officially done supporting, watching and anything else to with these films. Do you hear me Summit? AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, I WILL NEVER WATCH TWILIGHT AGAIN.

(that's probably not true, I'm a pushover)

"Call my name. Bastian, please! Save us!"

Gigantic Looks Familiar...

So the poster's yellow, Paul Dano's in it, and to top it off they use the same goddamn music from the Little Miss Sunshine trailer! I think Mr. Dano and Alan Arkin (see my take on Sunshine Cleaning) need to go to Sunshine rehab. Clearly they're addicted. None the less Gigantic looks right up my indie ally, and Dano is looking better than ever as that love stoned guy who gets hotter with time and patience. And apparently having Zooey Deschanel and John Goodman in your movie is the new trendy thing to do, although this is the first time together that I'm aware of. The love story will either be cute or annoying. I could see it going either way.

      

The First coming of Rupert Friend?

You've probably seen this guy in the small role of Wickham in Pride and Prejudice, or with his lips constantly wrapped around GF Keira Knightley. But soon, you'll be seeing a lot more of this awkwardly feminine, yet appealing leading man. I didn't make too much of Rupert Friend in the beginning, but with all his upcoming films, he's growing on me. Check him out in this slightly disturbing clips from his film Cheri with Michelle Pfeiffer, and in the trailer for Young Victoria. Get ready America, this Brit is going to big, or at least he's going to try.  

Gyllenhaal and Carrey to revive Damn Yankees?

It's been awhile since I saw the horrible revival of Damn Yankees, but I still have a bad taste in my mouth. I remembered loving the show as a kid, but either the show wasn't what I remembered or their production just bombed. Either way, when news broke from Variety that Jake Gyllenhaal and Jim Carrey are possible contenders to star in a contemporary remake of the film/show, some of that bad taste started to fade away. For those of you not familiar with the plot of Damn Yankees, it's about Joe, who longs to go back to his younger years so he can help his favorite baseball team win against the Yankees. In walks this smooth talking devil (literally) who offers Joe the chance to do just that, in exchange for his soul. Is the casting starting to make sense now? With Gyllenhaal as shoeless Joe and Carrey presumably as the devil, this remake may have a shot of making it out of the gate. But it's all preliminary, so don't get your hopes up. 

The Neverending Story (literally)

So there's talk abound of another Neverending Story movie. I'm shocked! Not really, it was only a matter of time till people desperately needed Falkor back in their lives. Really there's not too much to post about this yet, I just wanted an excuse to post this amazing Family Guy pic ;) And with regards to the post title, say her name bitch... I mean Bastian.   

I got this message when I tried to go on Twitter the other day, and it just made me laugh. Speaking of the surprisingly brilliant invention that is Twitter (I'm addicted now), check out the NY Mag article on them.